Help Desk

    Network Interface is their technical job description. Other names are Customer Support Engineer, Customer Account Representative, or however else they think to describe it. A Sanitation Engineer still picks up the garbage. They need the benefit of your years of technical schooling without letting on that what you will be doing is 'Helpdesk'. You may have answered the ad for 'System Administrator', but what they are really looking for is someone to answer the phone. Read Technical Secretary.  "Technical supervisor responsible for computer hardware and software maintenance, calibration and team development etc blah blah." However pretty they can make the worm on the end of the hook, but the job is answering the phone. 'Helpdesk' is a term avoided but lurking in the back of management’s minds; acting as a barrier between the developers, engineers, management and the great unwashed out there screaming for help. Management needs your help desperately.  They not only need someone technically aware, able to cope with the myriad of issues facing their customers each day but someone able to present a professional face. They need you. They need the Dale Carnegie course you took while selling real estate. They need your closing expertise. They need your skill in asking pointed questions cleverly designed to calm the nervous, frustrated and the egalitarian know- more -than -you because you Jane, me Tarzan. People skills for short. Oh. They’re out there and the person that hires you is looking for someone who can handle them diplomatically. Helpdesk is the company's public face. It's what forms the customer's opinion of the company. Frequently it’s the only contact the customer has.  Helpdesk is the company's image presented to every caller on the other end of the line. But 'helpdesk' is a dirty word in the computer world. It's the bottom rung of the career ladder for someone who has chosen the Information Technology field. It’s usually the graduate's first job. If he is to go anywhere, he needs to remain there, job market notwithstanding, for about a year before moving up to his/her desired specialty or risk pigeonholement. After a year, the Information Technologist has heard and addressed most of the technical issues she's going to hear and in economists terms, has reached the 'point of diminishing returns'. The quandary for management is that while they need a multi-talented person to shield them from the mundane, a person part salesman, PR person, publicity agent, psychologist, and yes, technical,  the pool of people qualified technically are usually none of those. They need someone with the temperament and empathy necessary to deal with their customers, who while requiring help, may be technically bovine, incapable of following directions, frustrated, impatient and, for the most part, strung out tense, stressed. How hard is it for management to find someone possessing the humility and knowledge to run a help desk in a field of self-absorbed elitist technocratic egotists whose self-image is calculated by looking down on others who are less technical. For some reason, the management has concluded that a 4-year degree satisfies all of the above even though an academic degree has little to do with any of it. 'B.A or B.S.' is the best they can come up with, but what they are really seeking is possibly something they can faintly visualize but not verbalize correctly in a job advertisement.

In my interview, they asked me some technical questions, but what I think got me the job was that I remembered all of the names of the people sitting in the interview and thanked each one of them by name before leaving the room. That one act, more than any degree or technical qualification rang their bells. That set me apart from the other 10 candidates and they were right. They did choose the right person and I've grown in the job by transcending the frustration and routine and developing into part company salesman, PR person, publicity agent, psychologist, and technician. Every time I answer a call I learn something. Even if its never wanting to speak to that particular person again. After 5 years on the job I've learned I can contribute to the welfare of both the company and the customer by showing genuine concern for the caller's issue, solving their problem or pointing them to someone who can. There is a lot of satisfaction being a 'Network Interface' "psst...helpdesk" person. The positive feedback from a satisfied customer is immediate and frequent. In sales the saying goes there are 7 no's for every yes. In my job, there are at least that many smiles and expressions of gratitude for every frown.

At the risk of self-incrimination the four people who had the job before me left after one year. Did I say I've been here ten?. One was fired, one schmoozed her way into a promotion, one got married and moved away, and one left crying and screaming out the door. I too once went crying out the door. I just left. Didn't tell anyone. I just left and rode my motorcycle for 4 hours mumbling to myself. I vowed to quit. I returned and was piling all my stuff into a box when the boss called me into his office. Officially he had to reprimand me. He also showed me that he knew what I was up against when he informed me that I could walk out anytime it got to be too much for me, but 'just clock out and tell me you are leaving'. His empathy returned me to my desk. I grew professionally from that experience and his guidance and since then have never had to inform him that I was leaving for the day. On this job, I rub shoulders with some of the best technical minds in the business, touch on issues which would have never occurred to me, researched problems most deviant in computer, network and printer hardware and software. I've learned about viruses, malware, worms, spam, and the best (and sometimes free) programs for combating them. I've learned about imaging, operating systems, both Apple and Microsoft in addition to Unix. I can remote into other computers using 3rd party and built-in applications. I repair login problems, use Active Directory to configure user accounts, Entourage and Outlook, have become familiar with most of error codes. Most importantly I enjoy going to work in the morning. There are challenges sure, but the job has taught me a little about research, a lot about people, empathy, self-defense and the value of listening. Really listening; not just to the issue, but the tone of voice, stress level, priority and how to answer and how to vary my tone of voice and transmit my concern for their issue through the miles of phone line separating us. Most importantly: get them on my side besides motivating them to provide me with the information necessary to solve their issues and get them back to work. Salesmanship.

My most satisfying customers are the janitors and food service workers. Most of them are not computer literate and are eager to follow directions. They are also the easiest to work with. The most difficult are the middle management types who are still learning leadership. While most are co-operative, some are condescending, irritable, second-guessers, non-listeners and seemingly incapable of following directions. Then there are the ones who won't explain their situation and must be prodded for information, like the one complaining of lack of permission to a file she has always had access to only to learn after a number of questions that she is logged in as someone else altogether; or the person complaining that he couldn't log in using his temporary password. He was using the letter 'O' instead of a zero. "Oh! That zero." That one took a few minutes. Will you believe an answer such as “what's the difference? They’re both round” or “ the letter O or the number O?” It begs the question of the extent of thought put into keeping a place holder with a zero when there are 9 other more sensible possibilities. A technician on a job in a previous life once told me that if nothing seems to work, the problem seems incomprehensible or doesn't make sense from what the customer is saying then "you probably aren't thinking stupid enough." In other words, you may be a victim of 'assuming'.
I harken back to a conversation in a previous life as an aircraft electronic technician. The pilot says the radio doesn't work. You checked out the radio and it worked fine. What did you do that he failed to do? Describe what you did when you began troubleshooting the problem?"
"Well, I hooked up the auxiliary power unit to the aircraft"

"Then what did you do next"?

" I entered the cockpit"
"OK, we can be sure he did that. Then what?"
"I turned on the radio."
"Bingo!"

Helpdesk wise this translates to: "Oh. That's right. I shut off the power-strip on Friday and forgot." or "Well Now that you mention it I had to open the shades to find my desk."
Then there are the ones who are frustrated to the point of snapping. They have tried everything they know, have talked to their friends or associates, are most likely dealing with a deadline and have placed themselves in a pressure cooker. By the time they call you they are past the point of conscious thought and have convinced themselves that the problem cannot be fixed; least of all by you. A call to the helpdesk is taking a big risk for these types.

"Helpdesk. How can I help you."

"NOTHING WORKS"

"What doesn't work Sir"?

"NOTHING!"

Here is your opportunity to resist asking if the lights are on. Your first job is to calm them down and to remember that humor is definitely not the way to defuse them. These types are in no mood for humor. Empathy. What they want to hear more than anything is: "Miss. Whatever is wrong I can either fix the problem or connect you with someone who can." There goes the lid to the pressure cooker.  Now you can get to work. 

How about the ones who refuse to believe you because the solution is too simple.

"THAT CAN'T BE IT! That is too easy. This problem is much more difficult than that.  Otherwise, I would have thought of it", they are thinking.

I once won a case of beer from a customer who called in a technician from the company because his on-site techs couldn't fix the problem.
He was a US Navy base commander in Izmir, Turkey. I flew out from Jackson, Mississippi. Arrived on site. Spoke to the techs about what they had done previously, inspected the radar, ordered two parts and retired to my hotel. The aircraft had been without radar for months and nothing seemed to fix the problem. They had replaced every component in the system and it never lasted through the next flight. Shortly after my shower the phone rang.
"The Skipper wants you to report to him in his office".
"I'll be right there..."
"You have been here a total of 45 minutes and say you have fixed the problem when my techs have been working on it for months. Now I want you to work on that aircraft till you fix the problem."

"Sir". I replied. Every part in the radar system has been replaced but the one that is causing the problem. These aircraft are 10 years old and I have repaired a number of these radars. When a radar head is ordered the antenna is not included. I have found a number of these antennas that are breaking down and arcing.  When it arcs it shorts a transistor in the radar head. During my research,  I also found which transistor is failing, but that is inconsequential.  I have inspected your antenna and I can assure you this is the problem." The failed radar head with the shorted transistor is replaced, but the same antenna is then reattached causing the transistor to short out again.
"But there is nothing in the troubleshooting logs about this", he replied.
'No. It is too fresh of an issue to make publication yet.'

"Well, that's crap. OK. We'll wait for the part, but that had better be it."
"Sir, I'm confident enough to bet you a case of beer on my solution."
"You're on, but if I win. There will be hell to pay. I'll wager you that."
I shared his beer with all the techs after the aircraft returned from its flight two days later with the radar intact. He refused to join us. His aircraft was fixed, but his ego dented. Another elitist is shown up by the help.
In the helpdesk world, the same types can't believe that the reason they can't log into the domain is that their computer clock is wrong.
"THAT CAN'T BE IT!."

    So into the realm of the possible. Out of the land of disbelief and into the reality of ether-space. Live in a world of self-belief, knowing that you are the momentary solution to the hundreds of lives you touch each and every day. For an on-site tech to repair a problem it takes gas, depreciation of company resources, shoe-leather. Helpdesk does it for the price of a phone call. 

    On a personal note: It helps to be old. I have finally come to appreciate the joy in my father's favorite bit of advice to me as a youngster: "Don't think". In reality, what I think he was alluding to,  was the path to Zen enlightenment. Release from the responsibilities of creative thinking opens new worlds, almost like being an avatar in an etherspace afterlife. Without the drudgery of expectation of thoughtful contribution to management solutions, I am free from the shackles of  the diabolical and time wasting maypole of endless meetings, avoiding the echoing war cry of the Millennial Management generation: “ I knew that”.  As the helpdesk person, I'm not considered as a decision maker or even a worthy contributor to issues under consideration by management. If I'm called into a meeting it's usually only to answer a simple question then leave. ISN’T THAT FREEKIN GREAT!! By the analysts and engineers, I'm only thought of as 'the guy who answers the phone'. Oh, they are thankful that there is someone around with the patience to do it but 'don't ask him to think' is their real opinion of anyone on the helpdesk. Hell, it's almost like being paid to be retired. Successful helpdeskness requires a Zen approach to ego suppression. Once you arrive at and are most of all happy with the fact that the company upper echelon community doesn't expect you to think you are on your way to corporate cube Nirvana, free in your off hours to pursue the important things in life like riding your Harley and fly fishing. Your most important text book, yea Bible, is "The Dilbert Principle" by Scott Adams. Your best friends and most fervent admirers, indeed source of job satisfaction, are the voices on the other end of the phone line. It is those voices the helpdesk must keep happy. Surprisingly, that is the hard part. The easy part is keeping your job and to do all that is necessary to keep management convinced that you are happy and enthusiastic keeping their customers happy and due to your embracing the Zen philosophy of ego suppression, and 'don't think' ideology, you are. Like Adulous Huxley's elevator boy the dedicated helpdesk person couldn't be more excited about announcing the arriving floor and the clever lad dedicated to keeping his job will convince management of exactly that. Ego suppression is a helpdesk skillset. A person wearing white coveralls with a flat lead pencil stuck in his ear and sawdust in his hair leaves a mental impression of a carpenter. A mechanic carrying a wrench around impresses people he is working even if he is only on the way to the bathroom. George Castanza wearing a disgusted look impresses people he is concerned. Anytime management is around the dedicated helpdeskee has a phone stuck to his ear and a concerned look on his face whether there is anyone on the other end of the line or not. An open technical book on his desk helps as well as a messy note tablet. Messy notes promote management’s impression that you are not capable of organized thought, thereby helping them resist any temptation they may have of inviting you to one of their meetings.  But if they are convinced that you are good at answering the phone and keeping their customers off their back then you have arrived at paycheck heaven. You have become indispensable. On a layoff, you will be the last one to go. Technical certifications become unnecessary although promoting the idea that you are diligently studying for the Helpdesk Support certification helps. Praising your boss while others are complaining is also a valued technique. It matters not what your opinion is. No one cares what you think anyway. Follow the Zen philosophy. Read and re-read 'The Dilbert Principle". An important survival ploy is detaching your self-image from your job. Your job is only a paycheck. No one enjoys the satisfaction of the corporate machinery running their way unless they own the company. If you find yourself overly concerned or dissatisfied with the way the company is being run or decisions being made then start your own company. Otherwise SHADDAP! 

    There is one danger. As indispensable as you may be to the company, you are more vulnerable than most to the boss who has a friend looking for a job. Short of showing constant dissatisfaction with your performance, your boss has innumerable resources at his disposal to make your life miserable and convince you that you would be happier elsewhere. Since you have no management power your only defense is political. You have to get his boss or someone with power on your side. There are avenues available here for the enterprising Helpdesk guru willing to extend the effort. Join the Better Business Bureau, Knights of Columbus, Lions Club. Get noticed in the community by writing concerned letters to the editor of the local newspaper. Become a Mason or Shriner or join a similar organization that contributes to the welfare of the community. Network through Linkled, Facebook. Write technical articles and submit them to the company's Sharepoint. My boss replaced my name as author with his on the articles I submitted. That's a compliment, I suppose. What to do? Barring any of these know that Helpdesk technicians are in high demand and always remember that to do and keep and be happy in your job you must be smarter than the average bear while presenting an image to the contrary.